just some thinking

so i know i havent been the most perfect christian lately. but while i was doing meh civics homework i got this sudden urge to pray to God. then i got the urge to read the bible, which im still meaning to do. i guess im writing this for myself. even though i dont get these amazing messages to tell meh to go do these things, like go on belieze, which would be my dream and would change my life. i know im still getting messages. i just have to listen. like changing how i am, and not judging, and yelling or screaming, or cursing, and no more lust. i am going to be a chosen child of God. the more i think about this, the more i wanna cry, but the more it makes meh happy. i wanna cry because i know my weakenesses all too well. and He does too, and i know i have done so many horrible things in my life that i am not fond of, at all. but it makes meh happy because i know when i pray to Him, its like all of a sudden i can finally tell him everything. and then He's there, right next to meh, i can feel it. i am going to change for the better, for meh, for meh family, and for my God. I wanna go to belize so badly. and i know i can raise money by July. its a 1500 dollars. but i think if god wants meh to go, He'll be there helping meh(:

so manyy...

everywhere i look i find meaning.
like a good writer would. but can i really call myself a good writer? i have all of these ideas for these books that in my mind will come out amazing. but everytime i start it, i cant finsh it...sometimes its cuhz im not inspired, or i forget. or i start on another book. well ima start again on meh book stuck in the inbetween. my only concern is that i cant find a publisher...when i was little i always had this idea that when i would go out to a bookstore, id find my name everywhere. just didnt know it was gonna be this hard...

writing is my passion♥

so ever since i was five years old, i wanted and loved to write. i remember writing this little, well book kinda thing, about how i am a princess.(X now i was five sooo no judging!:)

& then around 8 or 9 i wrote zoieys slumber partyy
then 10-14 was all about poems
and nowwww i have sooo many different ideas for a storry but 1. im not brilliant at writing. & 2. i cant concetrate. & 3. idk if its an amazing idea or not.

soooooooooooooooooooooooo i researched a little. & i mostly just have to practice writing, and read...ALOT!:) i even checked out a book from the library(:< so far so good!

but i really want my career in writing. writing anything and everything!!

ill post my different story ideas later and u can tell meh which one is better(:<

it's a new day!!:)

ohkay ohkay. so winter formal is coming up in feb. feb 3rd or thee 4th. & i REALLLYY wanna be meh goal weight: 133 pds.& i have figured out how to do that..
sooo
the first 4 weeks: lose 3pds per week!
then the 5-8th week lose 4 pds per week!
then finally the last 5 weeks lose 3 pounds per week!!
& that shud be good. give or take a few pounds:)

i reallllyy wanna get a SMALL dress size this year
im tired of being a L or a XL:((
so here i gooo!!! for winter formal & mehself!! <3

today is the day:)))

so a little recap of meh week:)
1. got nominated homecoming princess
2. went to six flags.
3. retaking econ test on thurs
4. HOMECOMING DANCE ON SATURDAY!!!<3

so i guess now that  i got nominated homecoming princess. i have to be SUPERsocial..which shouldnt be toooo hard(X
wish meh luck!!:)
theyre gonna dress meh up tomorrow at school(X
then last nite i went to six flags with meh bf <3 and his family:)
got home around 2am:)
& im supppperr excited for homecoming dance on saturday! super hero theme!!!! wonderwomen??? i think so!:)

dieting: day one(:

so as i member i promised meh self this summer wud be all about losing weight..but of course something always got in the way...well now its august n i have a lil over one month to lose 20-25 pounds..i know it might sound unhealthy, but im still gonna eat and everything i juss need to cut back seriously.. hhah.& of course the exercise which now since i have very lil time.. i need to step up the game. hopefully i can stay dedicated n lose the weight(: & i also hope i can complete meh check list everyday n post on here..juss to encourage other ppl things can be done, as long as u stay dedicated...ill make shure to post a pix of my full body every week so i can stay dedicated... heres meh check list for today(:

1. walk/jog 8 laps.

2. do a total of 100 sit ups

3. do total of 25 push ups

4. 3 glasses of water

5. jump rope for total of 15 min

6. leg lift..total of 6 sets five times each

7. 5 fruits and veggies

8. crunches: 20 on each leg and middle

ill come back tonight to post what has gotten done(:

thinking thinking and more thinking

i guesss this is the time in my life where im confused on what to be?
i shure do hope so...cuhz thats where im at
hahahas!
bc i love fashion and im getting influenced by it
but i also love writing and literature
buttt at the same time ...history
siiiggh what to do what to do
soooooooo i guess i juss have to wait to see where
this path is taking meh?
down jennie road
until left at fashion
or right to literature?
orrrr maybe i can do both?
fashionita at day writer at nite?(:
hahhahahah
gimme any advice or ideas? they wud be greatly appreciated>:)