Saturday, March 31, 2012

just some thinking

so i know i havent been the most perfect christian lately. but while i was doing meh civics homework i got this sudden urge to pray to God. then i got the urge to read the bible, which im still meaning to do. i guess im writing this for myself. even though i dont get these amazing messages to tell meh to go do these things, like go on belieze, which would be my dream and would change my life. i know im still getting messages. i just have to listen. like changing how i am, and not judging, and yelling or screaming, or cursing, and no more lust. i am going to be a chosen child of God. the more i think about this, the more i wanna cry, but the more it makes meh happy. i wanna cry because i know my weakenesses all too well. and He does too, and i know i have done so many horrible things in my life that i am not fond of, at all. but it makes meh happy because i know when i pray to Him, its like all of a sudden i can finally tell him everything. and then He's there, right next to meh, i can feel it. i am going to change for the better, for meh, for meh family, and for my God. I wanna go to belize so badly. and i know i can raise money by July. its a 1500 dollars. but i think if god wants meh to go, He'll be there helping meh(: